People who know their way around the web must have already stumbled upon several blog posts and articles about different types of Twitter users in existing. Here I’m going to share my own experiences about three kind of twitter users who interacts with me frequently. The common things among them are they are all Bengali and quite regular tweeps.

• Type I

There’s this guy who sleeps and eats Twitter, practically the perfect candidate of Twitter brand ambassador in India. It’s quite an amazing feat for his followers to see him NOT tweeting during any period of a day. He doesn’t need a specific topic to start and can munch your head with pretty much anything and everything. He dreams while being awake and tweeting and finish the rest of his responsibilities in his sleep, and planning a biotechnological gizmo to analyse brainwaves and tweet so that he doesn’t unnecessarily miss Twitter during the bedtime. Probably, he’s also a pseudo-republican autocratic leader of the future with big plans to crush the opposition out of sheer tweeting power and boring news updates. Too much sentimental about nationality and race without knowing or accepting it, semi hypocritical critique of society, he also tweets cooking his Maggi and doesn’t tweet because he's cooking Maggi but because Maggi is being cooked while tweeting. Broken stool philosopher since he can’t afford an armchair in his place and also a self-proclaimed representative of ‘Kolkattaya’ gay crowd. I present his royal highness @Aagan86 before you!

• Type II

Now this guy’s a real ‘bhakt’, starting the day thanking God for starting the day. And believe me he knows how to travel his socks off, he covers the half of West Bengal everyday through his broken glider and pet pterodactyl. Only the half because like every south Bengali he also thinks world exists until the south of Ganges. He’s quite fond of using quotes, sometimes even doesn’t mind using some of those extra-terrestrial ones, especially Martian and Zorgian samples. He frequently checks whether he fulfilled his quota of quotes, failing which he posts more quotes about the negative points of quota system to touch his daily quota. He’s also quite fond of thanking people for no reasons, like

Type II: “Thanks to you.”

Follower/Completely unknown species: “Why? What did I do wrong?”

Type II: “Nothing, I can thank anyone if I want to, I don’t need you to do anything. Be off! Wait, thanks again!”

He’s a good organizer, and uses a lot of organizing applications in his PC to organize himself. Meet @souravghosh, tweeps! 

• Ty 'a' pe III

Well, if you guys are getting bored, don’t worry, hang on a little. Here’s the real stuff coming about a great ‘primate’ who thinks in his wet dreams that he’s the greatest physicist ever born in the history of primate-kind. Truly he’s a sample to be kept in zoos for public showcase of hypomanic schizophrenia among primates but his father’s earnest request to let him lead a ‘normal’ life stopped the authority. He makes quite a show of himself, by fooling around and throwing comments and his long tail into things he’s not even supposed to talk about. His features are quite lovely to him and he feels pity for his ‘lowly’ humans followers. His photo receptors got loosened while running away from a teacher who was closing in behind him for an unexpected bite in the middle of a class. From then on, he goes to sleep at around 6-7 AM and makes unusual noises and facial expressions being asked the reason. Guys meet @debsuvra aka me.

(A sincere request to the persons depicted in this post not to take this seriously enough, just a wastage of time while being bored to death. Anyway, what more can you ask from a primate who’s on Twitter?)